Lesson 4: Alternative Therapies and Treatments
Counseling

If you think about the daily stresses from work, relationships with your partner, family, and friends, not to mention stresses from paying bill, car maintenance, and everything else that your life includes, then add dealing with a diagnosis of infertility to the pile, and the need for some counseling becomes more and more obvious.

Several reactions to the diagnosis can usually be expected including disbelief, anger, blaming the other partner or self, depression, and acceptance of the diagnosis. Getting to the acceptance level can be a long journey, and many a relationship has failed at some point along the way. Working with a marriage or relationship counselor, preferably one with an understanding of infertility, can help the couple deal with the emotional aspects of the diagnosis.

Many times, your doctor will be able to recommend an area counselor that he/she has referred other patients to. If your doctor does not recommend anyone, ask for a referral to a counselor. If for any reason your doctor does not normally recommend counseling, you should ask why, as your emotional health will play a part in your physical health.

If you would prefer to locate a counselor on your own, either because your doctor did not provide a referral, or because you live in a different town than the one you receive medical treatment in, there are a few steps you should follow. First, you should locate a counselor that is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy or ask family and friends for their recommendations.

The next thing that you should do is schedule a few appointments with at least four counselors so that you can get to know them and find out what their style is like and if they have any particular training or experience with infertility counseling. You will also want to know how much training they received, and how long they have been practicing. Just as you would when interviewing a doctor, interview the prospective counselor, and take a list of questions with you.

When it comes to deciding which counselor you will see, you and your partner should discuss how comfortable you both feel with each one. Because you will be discussing not only medical procedures such as the testing and any ART done, but also you will also be discussing more intimate feelings and parts of your life with the counselor. If one or the other of you do not feel comfortable, then you will not be willing to open up to the counselor, and therefore will not receive the help that you went to them for in the first place.

You should also check with your insurance provider to see if they will cover the counseling sessions. Once you and your partner have decided on a counselor, and you have the information you need from your insurance provider, you can schedule your first counseling appointment. By working with a trained counselor, you and your partner will be better equipped to deal not only with infertility, but will be able to build a stronger relationship as well.